Hows Your Marriage?
It's good to sit down and take account of where you are in your marriage. Asking yourselves some questions is a good place to start. What is working? Is there a major issue that needs addressed? Are my spouse and I communicating well? Do we feel like we are processing towards a mutual goal? These are some great questions to ask one another. But, even before that, you should ask yourselves a question about growth.
Are We Growing?
Knowing if you have growth in your marriage is a good indicator or how it's going. If you're not sure, you probably need to have a family meeting. Why? Because how can two walk together unless they are agreed? Growing in marriage is the process of becoming one, learning to communicate, finding more in common, feeling safe with one another, and so much more. If you aren't growing you are dying.
When you are dying in your marriage it's a lot like seeing a loved one trying to catch their breath as they are passing. The thought is even painful. Someone you love is barely making it to breathe, and you feel helpless to help them. Have you been in this place? Nothing is working, you fight more than you talk, you have a hard time understanding their point of view, and the end looks better than to keep suffering. Dying in marriage is a hopeless situation. It seems final, and you think there is no other option. But wait!!
Friend, let me tell you there is hope! Our true hope comes from Jesus, and our salvation in Him. Hope helps us to keep moving, keep trying, keep loving, and keep forgiving. It's a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some have said, "I do serve the Lord, we do try to have a biblical marriage, and it's still not working." I understand, it's not an easy answer. Marriage is hard work, it's a lifetime of commitment. You see, I can't answer all of your questions in a quick blog, but what I can tell you is, it can change, and you can make it.
When you got married, you knew in your mind if you were going to be married for life or if this works out. Commitment in todays day and age is a flimsy word. People use it to sound good, but it's really a heart intention. In your mind you know if you are truly committed or not. We have people call us and want us to pray with them, council them and help them in their trial. We love doing this! But, all to often, they have already thrown in the towel. It comes out in their speech, their willingness to commit to changes some things, and how they respond. If you are already mentioning divorce, your mind is probably already made up. You speak what you think.
Don't Give Up
Friend, this doesn't have to be the end, it can be the beginning of growth in your marriage. God is right where you are waiting on you to ask for help. You first have to be committed to growth, reading, listening, changing. It's sometimes hard to swallow your pride and let go of expectations. Maybe you aren't at the end, but you know you need to get out of a rut. Wherever you are in your marriage journey, remember, it's never too late where God is concerned. He is right there waiting!!
He is our ever present help in our time of need. The Lord is mighty and wants to help you with your marriage. Ask, seek,and knock. He is waiting on you!! He can do a supernatural work in an instant, that you could never do on your own. Be committed, ask some tough questions, be willing to grow, and let God help you for all the in-between!! You too can have a happily ever married marriage!!
Monday: Ephesians 4:2-3 says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." When working on your marriage, this is a good scripture to start with.
Tuesday: Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." When you look at growth in your marriage you help one another by sharpening each other.
Wednesday: Mark 10:9 says, "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Don't let your marriage die. God meant it to be for life.
Thursday: Psalm 42:11 says, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God." Our hope is in God! We can have hope even in the worst times in a marriage.
Friday: Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Your speech gives you away, if you are speaking life or death.
Saturday: 2 Peter 3:18 says, "But grow in grace, and [in] the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him [be] glory both now and for ever. Amen." Being committed to growth is about growing in the right areas. Grow in grace, but also in knowledge and if you read His word, you will have the right information.
Sunday: Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" God is already in the moment before you ever needed Him!! He is ready to help, you just have to ask, seek, and knock.