What is the direction you are heading? Is your life leading you or are you directing it? Do you get up each day and just follow the path of least resistance? Are you waking up each day with a plan? Is your spouse involved in those decisions? If the answer is “I’m not sure” then you need to sit down with your spouse and figure out your direction.
Making A Plan
Do you and your spouse make plans or do you just roll with it? Who makes the plan? You, your spouse, or both of you together? When Brent and I are discussing our future, some new venture, a trip, money we are about to invest in something, or just our day, we do it together. Because we go by the order God has setup in the Bible, my husband has the final say. Our decisions are definitely mostly mutual after many years of marriage.
Give And Take
There is always a give and take though. Sometimes one of us is reluctant, but we hear each other out and work together to have flexibility. Your marriage is much stronger when you give in, let go of your ideas, and see the other ones side. It’s not all about just one person in a marriage. The giving is good but you also have to have the take. Not a selfish taking, but being ok with it being your idea sometimes too. Some people only want to give, and then quietly build a list of things in their heart that they never received. They become bitter and resentful.
Bitterness is a dangerous thing in your marriage. If you start to even have a resentment about things in your marriage, pull that root out before it goes too deep. You have to weed your marriage of harmful thoughts, and even imaginations. The word of God tells us that we are to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God and take captive every thought To the obedience of Christ. When you allow imaginations in your marriage and your mind to run away with bad, harmful, or lustful thoughts you are out of line and disobedient to Christ.
Sow good things into your marriage: thoughts, love, words, trust, companionship, faith, tenderness, yield, submit to one another. It’s not anyone else’s job to work on your marriage. You have to invest, sow, and build up your relationship to make it what you want it to be. You will reap what you sow, so if you sow a bad attitude of “it’s my way or the highway,” or, “You don’t get a say,” that is what you will get in return. Marriage is a journey of becoming one!
How do we figure out what is good for us? We communicate! We sit down when we aren’t stressed, tired, or sick and we find a good time to tell each other how we feel. Your spouse isn’t your enemy, or they shouldn’t be. Most times if you are struggling in this area, it’s because you aren’t really listening, or being clear. Try to refrain from phrases like, “you always,” or “you never,” as they cause an automatic wall to go up. Try to use phrases like, “I’m feeling,” and “I think I’m hearing you say.” This will build a bridge!
Decisions made without God are just a bad idea. It’s like making a fire outside of a fireplace. It can get out of hand quickly, and devour all you have worked so hard for. God is our Counselor! His Spirit is there to guide us into all truth, and He will order our steps and direct our paths, if we will let Him! When making any decision, pray. It’s amazing how many messes you can avoid if you seek Him first!
Our prayer for you this week is that you start to make decisions together and starting first with prayer. God is always there to help us if we will seek Him and listen. Trust that your spouse has good ideas and input. Talk through your differences and find some common ground. Pray the Lord helps you to give and take.
Monday: Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” What direction are you heading? Make sure you are going the same way!
Tuesday: Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Gods order will bring peace to your marriage and home.
Wednesday: Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” Pray the Lord help you to follow peace with your spouse. Pray that you don’t allow bitterness to enter into your heart or home.
Thursday: 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” Pray God helps you to weed your mind of every bad imagination, and bring into captivity every thought.
Friday: Galatians 6:7-9 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Pray the Lord help you to sow good things into your marriage and not bad.
Saturday: Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Praying the Lord help you to submit to one another in the fear of God when you communicate, and especially about decisions.
Sunday: Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” Pray this over yourself today and for your marriage.
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Thank you for investing in your marriage and you too can have a happily ever married marriage!!