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  • Writer's pictureJanene Brown

Does Your Husbands Heart Feel Safe?


Proverbs 31 gives us a good description of how to be a good wife!! God's word is clear about this life, and how we should live it! As a young wife I wanted so badly to be a good wife, and coming from a family of divorce I wanted to be sure on what to do! I read a book called, "A Wife After God's Own Heart," and it was so amazing! I then referenced the bible for all of the scriptures in it! How amazing that God gives us an instruction book for marriage.


It takes time to be a proverbs 31 wife, and it takes being intentional! When you get started with anything, you have to learn how to do it! So time is a key component of getting it right. What does a Proverbs 31 woman look like? First we will look at the heart of her and how she loves her husband!


Love is selfless, caring, understanding, forgiving, it thinks no evil, and it always puts the other first! It's a heart of service! Love is reaching out when you feel rejected, even though that can be hard. It says, "I love you even though I feel misunderstood right now." Love looks to see your spouse in a way that Jesus does when your hurt feelings say, "ignore them, or tell them exactly how you feel!!" Love covers a multitude of sins!


Marriage can be hard sometimes, and you can definitely feel the sting of rejection. This is probably more to do with you than your spouse actually rejecting you. It might just be your own insecurities that you are feeling. So how do we feel safe? How do I make my husband feel safe? Be careful what you say during this time, harsh words can come out of hurt and feelings of rejection.


Trust is given and received with open arms. It's not always an earned trait, it is usually just a given. Why? The world says, "they must earn your trust, and if they hurt you, make them pay!" Love says, "I know you hurt me, or I was hurt by the action, but I love you, and know we are both human." You learn to give without expecting in return and love, covering your spouse. Do you think your husbands heart feels safe with you?

His Heart

The word of God in Proverbs 31:11-12 says, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Our Pastor says a man can only be affirmed by another man. So who does he feel love from? Can he tell you his hopes and dreams and you listen and encourage? What about his faults, or his complaints? Do you talk good about your husband, or make fun of him? Do you do good to him and not evil? His heart is desperately in need of your affection, your belief in him, and your adoration. Give it freely my friend.


Where in the word do we find this with Jesus? Ill tell you, the bridegroom and the bride. Jesus and the church is a great example of how we are supposed to treat our husband. When you were dating, I'm sure you put out your best outfit, put on perfume, your hair all curled, and you spoke to him with adoration! You thought he could do anything, I'm sure, my friend, you looked at him with eyes of love! Believe it or not, our husbands never stop needing that from us! Has your heart waned from when you first met Jesus! Have you left your first love? Go back to that prayer room, and read His word! Falling in love with Him all over again, and then go back to your spouse! The love you feel can't help but spill over!!


Monday: Proverbs 31:10 says, "Who can find a virtuous woman?

For her price is far above rubies." What a great scripture to start with when telling us how we can be a good wife! This means we have to dig deep into ourselves, the word, and work on being virtuous!

Tuesday: Proverbs 31:11-12 says, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,

So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil

All the days of her life." This is a scripture we should all put on our walls! What a great reminder of the first thing said to us on how to be a good woman/wife!

Wednesday: Proverbs 31:26 says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom;

And in her tongue is the law of kindness." When we don't understand the situation and how we feel, this scripture is a good reminder on how to love our husband!

Thursday: Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips." In the middle of feelings of rejection in marriage let us keep this scripture close to our hearts.

Friday: Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage,

and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." When your heart is hurt, wait, He will strengthen you to trust again! When you trust the Lord you can more easily trust your spouse.

Saturday: 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil." Charity is love, and this is a great way to love your husband!

Sunday: Revelation 2:4 says, "Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love." Jesus takes it seriously when we leave our first love, Him! He takes it just as seriously when we do this in marriage! Because of the hardness of their hearts He gave them a bill of divorcement. Let's love with every ounce of our being and let our husbands heart safely trust us!


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