Gratitude or Attitude
Where does your marriage stand today? Do you show Gratitude or Attitude? I know we can all get caught up in our daily routines, our feelings, our children, our appointments, our work or careers, ourselves. Our hearts can focus on us, and we can walk through each day thinking about all the many hats we wear. What about our husbands? Is it enough to feed them, and get them out the door? Or make sure we get the dinner ready and house cleaned before they are home. What about being and showing gratefulness for the blessing of our husbands?
Missy and George
Missy
Missy and George have been married for about 6 years and have 3 children. Missy does all she is supposed to do, she takes care of the home, her children and her husband. But something is missing. She goes through her daily routine, but complains… a lot. She is never happy and let’s her children, husband and friends know it. George can never seem to make her happy. He seems to always irritate her, and she constantly let’s him know it. “Why can’t you do more?”, “Why are you not doing anything?”, “Would you just get this done?”. She had an attitude towards him…
George
George works 40-50 hours a week, gets up at 5 and comes home at 5 or 6. He works a job where he does physical work, and when he gets home is pretty tired. He still plays with the kids, and does the yard work. He does his best to lead spiritually but seems to always be doing something wrong. He feels like Missy is in charge and is never happy with him, so sometimes it’s easier to see what she wants and try to make her happy. George truly wants to lead but feels like he can’t do more than he does without some support. He knows Missy works hard and so appreciates her, but feels he can never make her happy.
Jason and Sara
Jason
Jason and Sara have been married for 6 years and have 3 children. They are a great team! Jason loves Sara and appreciates all she does at home! Jason feels strengthened by the love and respect he feels from Sara. He knows he can do anything with Sara by his side. They have been through some major battles in their 6 years of marriage, and it has only reinforced their strong foundation. Jason is the priest of his home, he leads them in the word, and prayer. He works 40-50 hours a week, and still spends time with his family. He takes care of the yard. Jason loves coming home, it’s a place of refuge Sara has made for them.
Sara
Sara loves Jason and her sweet family. They have had some financial problems, some health issues, a miscarriage in the short 6 years of their marriage. Sara would be lost without Jason, not because she is weak, but because they are one. She is a strong, loving woman of God. She had to learn to let her husband lead though, she used to take charge and they would argue a lot. Sara found that as she respected her husband and encouraged him each day, that he became the man she had always dreamed of. Sara also became the woman she had always wanted to be. Prayer, the word, and gratitude changed the direction of their marriage.
Attitude
In the stories above you see two marriages that are very similar in logistics, but very different in the outcomes. Attitude has everything to do with this! Missy wasn’t grateful for what she had, she wasn’t happy in her marriage, and wanted it to be her way or the highway. She thought she was doing everything right, but she made her home a place to be avoided rather than a place to look forward to. She just wasn’t intentional, and she wasn’t grateful for what she had. She treated her husband like a paycheck and expected lots more than she was willing to give. She wanted a picture perfect marriage without understanding she has the power to change the tone in her home.
Gratitude
Sara learned early on that being grateful helped every area of her life. She spoke with a grateful heart, she encouraged her husband, she focused on all of the good that he did. Sara realized the power she wielded in her hand and mouth. She suffered in different areas of her life, but decided to thank God for all she had, instead of complaining about what she didn’t. Sara helped her husband by realizing the great responsibility he had on his shoulders, and helping to lift the load instead of making it heavier with her complaints. In turn he couldn’t wait to get home, to help her with what she needed, and to love her with unabandoned.
In The Wilderness
Do you feel like your marriage is in a wilderness? Dry, lonely, nothing living, parched, wandering around with no hope. The children of Israel had a promise of a land flowing with milk and honey but because of their constant complaints and being ungrateful they wandered for 40 years. Some even died without their promise. We can all go through times of not feeling very much, walking through a dry season with our marriage, but we have the ability through Jesus to have peace, joy, and hope! We all go through heartaches, disappointments, pain, and loss, but how we deal with and respond to them is up to us.
Responding Not Reacting
I just heard it somewhere leaders Respond not React. This can be true of our marriage, and our walk with God. We can either walk in the flesh, and react to everything and be a victim to our day, or we can respond with love, compassion, and wisdom. This comes through prayer, fasting, practice, failing, and work. We must learn to respond to our husbands and children with love and understanding. I am the first to say I have failed in this area on many occasions. I have prayed, fasted, and worked on responding and being grateful, and seen great results!!
Power of Purpose
The results I have seen in my marriage over the years has been astounding!! God has helped me to become the woman I have always wanted to be! I still continue to grow daily in this area, but I am better with each passing year! My purpose each day to speak words of encouragement to my husband, my children and others. Always working on purposing to show compassion and extend mercy. I purpose to focus on my husband and his needs and don’t try and make him feel guilty for what he needs to take care of. I could pull him down with my complaints and attitude, or I can lift him up to lead, love, and grow with my gratitude.
Mother’s Day
Ladies, we just finished Mother’s Day. Maybe your husband did a great job showing you love and maybe he didn’t. But we have a choice to be grateful for what they did or pout about what they didn’t do. You can gently let your husband know how you feel loved without laying a guilt trip on them. Let’s be grateful and show our appreciation for what they did do!
Father’s Day
Father’s Day is coming up next month, make that day special for all the dads. If you don’t have children yet, or if you have a blended family, make that day special for your husband. Focus on your husband and shower him with love and respect. Do something special for him that says you do so much for our family. Something to say I honor you as my husband. They need us to respect them! Make sure your little ones know Daddy is the King too! Teach them to love and respect their father. If you don’t, they will have a distorted view of relationships, marriage and authority. Order is so important for your little ones and the future of our world.
Gratitude Or Attitude
Choose this day whom you will serve! Yourself and what you want, or your husband and his needs. Will you have gratitude for all you have and the blessing of a husband, or will you have an attitude and make life miserable not only for your husband but for all around you. We can choose this day to be grateful!!! We can choose to respond in love!! We can choose to respect our husbands and see them thrive and want to come home to place of refuge!!
Scriptures:
Monday: Proverbs 31 is a description of a godly woman. It is wisdom and principals of how we should act, and strive to be in God’s eyes.
Tuesday: Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Meditate today on this scripture and ask the Lord to help you build your house!!
Wednesday: Proverbs 4:13 says, “Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.” This scripture teaches us to listen and quickly take hold of instruction, for it is life!!! Pray today that you will have a teachable spirit to God’s word and godly leaders.
Thurday: 1 Corinthains 10:10 says, “Neither murmur(complain) ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.” Pray today that you can will not complain, and will speak only good things that you see.
Friday: Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” also 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” Pray for a heart of gratitude, to see the good, to extend mercy, and to always give thanks! As we praise God the atmosphere changes!!!
You Are Investing
Thank you ladies for investing in your marriage!! I know sometimes it is tough for us to look at ourselves and address what we can do different, but as you choose to work on yourselves and your marriage you will see God bring you into that promise land flowing with milk and honey even as you face battles of this life. God will see you through and you can do it with joy, peace and a happilyevermarried!! Gratitude or Attitude!
Please feel free to email us with questions at janene@happilyevermarried.org and visit, share and post our website with other blog posts to bless and grow your marriage http://happilyevermarried.org
Thank you and Praying for you this week as we go forth with thanksgiving in our hearts and with our words and actions!!