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Marble Surface
  • Writer's pictureJanene Brown

Hearts Torn

Hurts Come

In this life, hurts are going to come. They can feel like the worst pain you have ever known, make you feel alone, or even make you feel like giving up. When life happens, and hurts bring you down, remember, “this too shall pass.” Sometimes you need a break, sometimes you need to recharge, and sometimes you just need to cry. Hearts torn in two by hurts can seem like the pain will be indefinite. 2020 has been that kind of year for us.


This year has been anything but normal. It has brought with it ups and downs, hurts and joys, and doubts and fears. 2020 has also been an amazingly blessed year for us. July, however, was tumultuous like the sea. We went on vacation finally after over a year of go, go, go. We had 2 little boys last year that we fostered, starting at the end of June 2019, and they went back with their mom at the end of January 2020. Also, I started working from home in January and was very busy. My husband had a job, but lost it at the beginning of Covid-19. March was crazy, but we got a sweet little baby boy placement at 3 weeks old. He was such a joy during this time! My husband started a better job in May, and God provided the entire time and we were blessed! This leads us to July 2020.

Waves Crashing

While we were on vacation we had a good time, yet is was different. All of the mask wearing, people frustrated and fearful made it very different from any other vacation. It wasn’t care free, it wasn’t the same. We did enjoy relaxing and time together of course! We had amazing prayer time and even felt renewed in what God is going to do, although it seems hard to think about the future when it seems so uncertain. But God has a way of bringing things into focus and realigning us with His purpose! One day we were enjoying the ocean and the waves were really choppy and there was a major undercurrent. As we were laughing and having fun, I turned my head for a second and a wave crashed over me. We had been watching the ocean carefully and trying to stay above the waves. All of a sudden the waves knocked my glasses off and I could barely even keep my footing. I tried to reach for them, but they were gone. Have you had moments you felt everything was out of your control?

God Speaks

There were so many things that happened in that moment. The waves kept coming as we searched for my glasses. I couldn’t see and was so upset with myself for not being able to grab them. The Lord spoke, “You walk by faith and not by sight.” My heart stilled and I listened for direction. He showed me that this is a season of great unrest in the world, the waves of life and all that is happening is just one hit after the other, yet we don’t walk by our sight, we walk by faith! Waves crash over and over to where you almost can’t catch your breath. We left and tried to find a place to get me new glasses. No one could get me in that day so we went back in the morning. God just kept reminding me it’s ok I am leading you. We left where we were and traveled to another city and had our own little place, we had been staying with my husbands family. Even in all of this we thanked the Lord for keeping us and that we were able to get my new glasses. Sometimes we can take our senses for granted. Hurts come and we still can trust HIM.


The last full day we were on vacation, we had another prayer time together, this time we were praying about our future, baby boy, and other things. At the end I told my husband I had prayed and said, “not my will, but Yours Lord.” I felt the little boy who was now 5 1/2 months that we were fostering would leave. We loved him and he was the sweetest, best baby. After that my friend, who was watching him for us during a time way, texted and said he would be going on a visit. This was strange because there wasn’t anything planned and his biological mom was in rehab. A little later I saw I had a missed call, I called back and my friend said they were taking him to his grandmas for a new placement. He would be going to live with them. This was shocking and heartbreaking. No notice, no goodbyes, no kissing his sweet cheeks. We never got an explanation, or even a call from DCS for a week. Still not clear. He was just gone. But we thanked God for the time we had him and for the knowing he was leaving.


We didn’t understand why they took him with no notice or why it was while we were gone. We questioned why not wait, or take baby boy before we left. But really what it comes down to is this, we don’t always know the why of the hurts we encounter, or the struggles we go through. We just know God is bigger and loves us so much that we can trust Him with all of it. We grieved together, we took our time coming home, an extra day, and just were together. With hearts torn we drew near to the Lord and to each other. We still had joy, we still smiled, we still took pics. My husband and I got home and put everything away in his room. We loved and we will still love again. Understanding is saying with hearts torn, “God’s will not ours.”


In our marriage, we have had many hurts, but we still keep loving, and we still have peace. The waves are a reminder to me that as one thing after another comes this year, that my foot didn’t slip. God kept us and will continue to keep us. We have a peace that surpasses understanding, because we want God’s will. And when we look back over our life, and see the times when storms came, we will see the Master’s hand guiding us through. He is the peace speaker, and the one who walks on the waves to meet us to pull us up like He did to Peter. What is our job in all of this? What do we do when our hearts are torn? We keep the faith, and keep our eyes on Him, not on the storm.


Our prayer for you this week is to share what God has done for you. Pray God binds you to Him and to each other so you too can have peace in these unsettling times. Be real with yourselves, your spouse, and others. Let them know how God can and will keep you in the storm. Hearts torn can be mended to where they look as though nothing ever happened. Why? Because God is our Healer and mends the brokenhearted. He also is near to those with a broken and contrite heart. Praying for your hearts to be mended for His glory! That your marriages be made strong with His love, peace, and joy.


Monday: Psalm 61:1 says, “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.” Cry out to Him and he will attend unto your prayer. He is our comfort in time of need.

Tuesday: John 16:33 says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Wednesday: Psalm 121:3 says, “He will not let your foot slip– he who watches over you will not slumber;” Even when you feel you can’t stand and you are slipping, God is always awake and ready to hold you up!

Thursday: 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Sometimes the Lord allows us to suffer so we can be where He wants us to be and see Him in all of the struggle. I couldn’t see, but then He opened my eyes. He helped me to follow Him with faith!

Friday: 1 John 2:17 says, “The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever,” Praying no matter what comes in this life that tears our hearts that we will always pray His will.

Saturday: Isaiah 55:9 says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” We only need to that we trust Him, He has it all in His hands.

Sunday: Matthew 14:30-33 says, “But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.” We too can look at the storm and cry out and lose our faith in that moment, but when the sea was calmed, we need to remember to worship Him!


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Thank you for investing in your marriage and you too can have a happily ever married marriage!!

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