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  • Writer's pictureJanene Brown

Intentional Marriage


I love this word!! We love what it does for every area of our life, especially our marriage!! Being intentional is of the utmost importance! It's you, saying my marriage is so important to me, that I will focus on it, prepare, and make it happen. What areas should you be intentional about? Every area would be my answer. From the first moment you get up until you lay down at night, you should find ways to build and maintain your marriage.


Let's say you were building a dream home, what would you do first? I know I would dream about all I would want it to look like. Then I would make a list!! I am part gold, (it's a color thing), and then I would start making plans, or a blue print. Next I would count the cost. How much am I willing to spend on my dream home? Well, I guess, all I have to give. Why? Because, it is our forever home and we would want it just the way we dreamed it.

Set Your Goals

Being intentional is about writing out what your dream marriage will look like. Then going over them each day! Set them where you can get familiar with them, and make sure you are intentional about accomplishing those goals together. Do you take them down later? The answer is no. Why? Because we as humans tend to forget what we agreed to. This is why there are so many divorces today. You want to revisit it over and over.

Getting Started

How much do you have to give? It's a tough question, when you are dreaming of your wedding day, I'm sure your answer would be everything. We are human, and we can be selfish, and after awhile you may not feel the same way. Even though your emotions changed with the day, or moment, the answer is always 100%. You give 100% and they give 100%. It's how a marriage will work well. If, you only give 50%, or 25% you will never have the marriage God intended. You have to be intentional just like you were the day you got married.


IF, you are like us, you will want to start collecting what you need before you get started. What makes a dream marriage? Think about all you would need to do daily to reach your goals. If you want to take vacations, you need to start a vacation fund and stick to it. Lets say you want to spend one night a week going out for a date night. You have to be intentional and set it up, making it a non-negotiable appointment. Set aside money for it weekly. What about church? You will want to make it apart of your life, building your plans around it. Be there every time the doors open. Don't wait until you have things settled, or have children. You have to be intentional and start going at the beginning. This isn't actually physical like a dream home, but you are making sure you have your ideas ready to go.

Build A Good Foundation

Consider what a good foundation looks like. It will be solid, has enough strength to support all of the walls, roof, and floors, and it will be something you want to last a lifetime. The same is true for your marriage. Marriage counseling is always a good idea to see what you will need to address before the marriage, such as debt, baggage, past hurts, and different environment and possibly even different cultures you grew up in. What you believe as core values, and most importantly what you believe about God. It may not seem all that important when you are in love, but after you get married it is very important.

First Things First

Before all of this, you have to put first things first. Jesus has to be at the center of it all, the beginning and the ending. He comes first. You have to be intentional with your time with Him before you can be intentional about your marriage. When you do, you will be amazed at how blessed you are. Daily, you must put Jesus first. It's His order, the way He set it up. When we keep the order, we have peace, time, joy, and the ability to be intentional about our marriage. So today my friend, ask yourself, "Am I putting Jesus first? "Am I being intentional about my marriage?" If the answer is no, you can start today!!! We are praying for you daily!! Reach out if you need prayer!! We are here!


Monday: Proverbs 14:14 says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Being intentional is about building your home, marriage and life around the word of God. When we do this we are wise.

Tuesday: Luke 14:28 says, “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?” You know when you build a marriage, it takes time, it costs you something valuable, and you definitely want to be committed to finish it.

Wednesday: Habakkuk 2:2 says, “And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.” You write it down with intention, make it clear, and run to make it happen!!

Thursday: Colossians 3:23-24 says, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." This goes for your marriage as well!! Be intentional and give all you have as you would to the Lord.

Friday: Proverbs 6:6 says, "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: " They are always preparing for what they will need. Everything you need for your marriage is in the word of God.

Saturday: 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" This is so important to build a foundation that lasts a life time!! Be intentional to build on the only sure foundation, Jesus!!

Sunday: Psalm 63:1 says, "O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;" Find a place each day to seek Him first!! Be intentional and you will see blessings in your day and marriage!!


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