Have you ever just felt like you needed a restart in your marriage? It's a do over, and a place to look at your position on things, and begin again. Whether it be good, bad, or indifferent. You should give yourself, your spouse, and your marriage a space of grace and restart. Look at your situation and see what needs changed. Cover it with love, forgive, and move on to a fresh start.
Saying You're Sorry
Do you ever feel like you are in a rut with your spouse? You say something, they say something back, and there is a distance between you? Everyone goes through this. It's part of the ebb and the flow of marriage. Life can be stressful at times, especially when there is a transition of seasons in your life. Maybe you are starting a new job, moving, changing careers, someone passes, the list goes on and on. Remember during this time to say you are sorry, don't assume you are right and expect them to. Humble yourself and ask for forgiveness.
A Soft Answer
A soft answer turns away wrath, and kindness on your tongue is a blessing. Your words and how you say them have a lot to do with how your spouse receives what you have to say. When our words are harsh and stressed, we tend to see a flare up in the relationship instead of healing. What is your go to? Do you take time to pray, and find a good time to talk to your spouse about the issue you feel is causing problems? Or do you react and say what you feel in the heat of the moment?
Communication is key when it comes to your marriage. If you don't know what your communication style looks like, you probably aren't doing very well. When we are intentional about how and when we communicate we have much better results. When we aren't aware of how or what we say we are probably acting out of frustration and will end up missing what our spouse is trying to say to us.
Listening is an art. It is a learned action. You have to stop, be present, and truly hear what your spouses concerns are without thinking of how you will respond or win the argument. If your automatic response is winning, you truly aren't listening. When your hearts motive is, "I want to love my spouse the way Jesus loves me," you will come from a place of humility and love. In any conflict we may have, if I hear my husband say he is concerned or upset by something I am doing, I want to listen, and internalize it so it doesn't happen again. He does the same for me when I am upset. This wasn't always the case.
Unfortunately, this doesn't happen overnight. It's a process and a place of starting over again and again. Loving one another takes time, and new beginnings. When we first got married, we would talk, sometimes with passion and neither one of us heard the other. We were both talking and not truly hearing each other. Know you will have arguments in your marriage, it's part of becoming one, but you are still two separate people. Years later, we don't argue about much, but we still know to give each other grace and keep the rules of engagement. Nothing we are upset about is important enough to discuss when we are tired, sick, or stressed.
God is all about new beginnings!! He gives us new mercies every day! He is so merciful and forgiving. When we read His word, we are hearing His heart for us, how we are supposed to act, and the direction our marriage should take. Grace is a must, and this comes in many forms. From getting over the small things, like clothes on the floor, to a huge mess up or sin. I'm not saying you just don't deal with it, or overlook it. What I am saying is you can get past or through it with love, forgiveness and patience. Take the example of Jesus and the love He has for His bride the church, that He would die for it. We can have a blessed marriage as we are focused on new beginnings!!
Monday: 1 Peter 4:8 says, “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” When you look at where you are, remember the love you have for your spouse and let it cover a multitude of sins.
Tuesday: James 5:16 says, "Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Saying your sorry is just as important as saying I love you!
Wednesday: Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." How you speak is just as important as what you say.
Thursday: James 1:19 says, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” When you are intentional about how you communicate with your spouse you will be intentional to see a good outcome.
Friday: Proverbs 18:13 says, "He that answereth a matter before he heareth [it], it [is] folly and shame unto him." How perfectly this describes what happens when we don't listen.
Saturday: Mark 10:8-9 says, "And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." There is a spiritual transaction that takes place when we get married, but this takes time to do in the flesh.
Sunday: Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Give each other the grace God has so freely given you! Love, forgive and make a new beginning!
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