What Are You Speaking
I believe in starting with where you are. And to know where you are, you have to reflect on where you have been. Reflection starts with looking inward with an open heart to see where you may need to change. What words do you say to your spouse? When you are angry do you react or respond? Looking at the cause of your words is crucial. Getting to the root of your hurt, being careful when you speak, and learning how to speak is so important to your marriage!
Is bitterness springing up in your conversations? When I listen to people talk I know if they have been hurt. We have all been there, and we know our hurts can run deep. So deep that they can become rooted and then are very hard to pull up! Have you ever had to pull up weeds? My husband and I made a bed for roses last year and pulled up all of the weeds before we put down some black paper to keep the weeds from springing up again. I will say it worked for the most part. But if you don't get down deep enough and get the whole root, those horrible weeds will find an opening and come right on back up!
Thoughts Become Words
When you start thinking thoughts about your spouse that aren't good or healthy they eventually become words. So start catching yourself in your thoughts. Do you want your thoughts to have a mind of their own? Or do you want the mind of Christ? You have to start with what you are putting into that mind of yours. What you watch, read, and listen to is what goes into your mind. Be very careful what you see and hear!
Rule Your Spirit
When I think about the times I have lost my temper, or said things I regretted, and vice versa, my husband and I realized we weren't ruling our spirits. We have been given this spirit by God and he wants us to take ownership of it! We have to be in control of our own selves. We can't rule anyone else. Finding ways to learn to respond even when upset is a great start to ruling your own spirit.
How To Gain Strength
It takes strength to not say everything you think! When you are upset, especially here in America, we feel we have a right to say whatever comes to our minds! So how do we gain strength? We do it with time, patience, practice and forgiveness. We start with getting our spirits right. We learn to overcome our tendencies and traits, and start to speak life!
The word of God is so powerful for our lives and marriages! It is alive and supernatural!! When you read the word, it washes you, and cleanses your mind. Try it! You will be amazed by how much better you feel when you start your day with the word. You will see your whole day through the lens of Gods view on everything! People are always looking for a book or instructional manual to tell them exactly what to do! God thought of everything for your life and marriage and included it in His Holy Word.
Speaking life to your spouse is going to heal things you didn't think could be healed. The word of God will help you to see past your own thoughts, and see how He wants you to love and speak to your spouse. When they are hurting, struggling, and in sin, and vice versa, you will see how speaking life changes the atmosphere of your home! Encouraging them is a huge blessing! Speaking things over them that encourages them to do better, instead of beating them down with things they already know they are failing at, will work miracles!! Things like, "I am so proud of you!" "You are such a good father," or "I love the way you _____" Your words will either build them up, or tear them down. We know how satan loves to be the accuser of the brethren, and Jesus speaks life into us!!
Let's be like Jesus!! You can do this at any point in your marriage, it's up to you friend!
Monday: Luke 6:45 says, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." What we speak shows what is in our heart!
Tuesday: Hebrews 12:15 says, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled;" God gives us grace to not allow bitterness in our lives. We allow it or don't allow it, because it is a choice.
Wednesday: Proverbs 23:7 says, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:" This is a great reminder to us to be careful what we set our mind on. Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your mind on things above." So many scriptures that we can look to when we start speaking life!
Thursday: Proverbs 25:28 says, "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls." We must learn to rule our own spirit and we will have peace in our life, marriage, and home!
Friday: James 1:19 says, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: " We gain strength by learning to be a good listener, thinking before we speak, and not allowing our emotions to run away with us!
Saturday: Ephesians 5:23-29 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:" Order precedes armor, and the word washes us in our marriage! I love this scripture!!
Sunday: Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." Speaking life is so important in your marriage!! It is the fruit you will eat multiplied!! Years from now what you say today will be the miracle for your marriage!!
Please feel free to contact us by way of email on our blog posts or our new website! Also, please feel free to share and post our blog posts! Happilyevermarried.org or email@example.com Thank you and you too can have a happily ever married marriage!