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Marble Surface
  • Writer's pictureJanene Brown

Tree Of Life


What is your desire?  What have you prayed over, cried over, pleaded with God for, and know He has spoken to you about?  Is there something you have desired and are waiting on still?  I haven’t really ever talked about this online.  I would share with someone in a heartbeat in person, but being this vulnerable on social media is a huge step. It’s not because I don’t believe the desire God has put in my heart, or that it would happen, I was just waiting for the right time.  My desire and my husbands is that we have our own babies.  It may seem to some that we are too old, that it’s been too long, or that it just wouldn’t happen now.  Having children is our desire, and it hurts sometimes, but we know God is faithful.  We do live by faith and YES we still believe even though it hasn’t happened yet.


Hope keeps us going, it keeps us from falling to shambles in fear or pain, it lifts our hearts when yet another month goes by and we are not pregnant.  You see, we have a promise from God, and no matter what that looks like to others we know He is faithful.  I would have loved to write this post saying we are pregnant, but God doesn’t work the way we want Him to, His ways are above our ways.  We had a good friend of ours ask me to be a help to others in their journey.  It was an instant pain that struck me, I cried as I heard the Lord say, “Say yes.”  Why did I agree?  Because I trust the one who is my hope!!

Heart Sick

Friend, what ever you are going through, what ever you are praying for, don’t let your heart be sick.  God will bring it to pass if He promised it.  We personally have been given word after word about having our own babies.  I could tell you the most amazing faith stories of how God has showed up when our hearts were sick with loss over a child we have never had, and at the perfect moment increase our faith with a timely word!!  He is so good!!  I even at one time said to Him in prayer,  if I heard Him wrong, if others had heard Him wrong, or He had just changed His mind, (which I know He doesn’t do), to please take away this desire for children.  BUT, if He was going to give them to me, to please give me a sure word that day. He did!!!


He who is Faithful, showed up at a service that night and in our season of hurt, questions, and sorrow, had a man come from Mexico to speak directly to us.  It was all translated and we hadn’t shared anything that we had felt with our good friends who were having a service that night.  At the end of his sermon the man of God came up to me and, as the translator shared, he spoke to me things no one knew and had some women come around and pray for me.  At the end of this he told me their were two!  No one knew that we wanted twins, he told me to be patient but that God would do this miracle!  I still hold onto this word.  Why?  After several years we know that Jesus is still Faithful even though we haven’t seen it come to pass yet!

More Than Enough

There has been so many prophetic words even in the last 2 years, and we know that He is more than enough.  Jesus is more than enough!  No matter what, even if He didn’t decide to fulfill this specific promise, we have it in our hearts He is more than enough!  It’s not doubt talking, that is faith in our God that we are content in Him!  This has taken me years to get to this place, I still have my moments when I cry out for another month gone, my husband does the same.  I am 42, and had wanted to have my babies by 40, but God knows!  I married my amazing husband at 30 and have loved helping raise our 2 beautiful daughters he brought into the marriage.  We have fostered, had some other family live with us over the years, and now that they are all gone from our home or grown and living an adult life, we still want our babies.

Faith Room

This has been a long journey, with so many great blessings, some really hard things have come our way, and through all of the ups and downs, we have such a blessed marriage!!!  Along the way I asked my husband to let me do a “faith room”.  I wanted to turn a bedroom into a babies room(nursery)by faith that we would get pregnant.  He didn’t feel to do so until we moved to Terre Haute.  That was in 2017, and in 2018 after we were pretty settled he said I feel like the timing is now!  I trust my husband and even though I wanted it years before I was so content to see it happen when he was ready.  Wisdom is knowing in your marriage that you both need to be on board.  He had wanted the babies for years, but wasn’t ready to see it realized in a room.  We made this room by faith, and even received another prophetic word about it from a wonderful young lady at our church who had no idea!  Just another confirmation!  We used this room for 2 boys we fostered with the two cribs for our twins that we had bought and set up!  We had no plan of fostering when we set up the room, but God was preparing us.  Then we got another sweet little blessing for 5 1/2 months who was a sweet little baby boy!  God always creates a space before He fills it!

Trees Take Time

You don’t get a tree overnight, and it takes year, sometimes a lifetime to us before we see it fulfill its purpose.  We live in an instant society, in work, play, or what we expect from anything really.  But a tree has seasons, and it takes time to grow, to be ready to bare fruit.  I look back and know that had we had children before now it would have been really hard.  God knows the perfect timing and we just have to trust Him.  If you are hurting wondering where God is, why He hasn’t answered your prayer, know that in the waiting you find Him.  I had a prophetic word several months ago and I am holding onto it.  The man of God preaching said it’s done, God would do it.  The Pastor of that church said when he saw me he knew the Lord would answer the prayer and I would become pregnant. He told my husband and I that this has only happened to him 6 times before, and within a few months of God showing him a woman that she would become pregnant.  It’s been 12 years, but we all know others that took longer.  I have a friend who’s little boy just celebrated his 1st bday!!  It was 14 years for them!!  The bible is full of women who God opened their wombs and great men of God came to be used for God’s glory!  Don’t give up my friend!!  Pray with your husband, believe, speak life, and do something by faith!!  God will do miracles!!!


Monday: Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” When you seek the Lord and delight yourself in Him he will give you the desires of your heart and it will line up with His!

Tuesday: Psalm 71:14 says, “But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more.” We can hope in Him continually and praise Him even more before we see the miracle, because our hope is in Him!

Wednesday: Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Sometimes we hurt, our hearts are sick and we want to give up, but just wait… He is an on time God!

Thursday: Romans 3:3 says, “For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?”  He is Faithful!!

Friday: Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.” He is all we need and that is more than enough!!

Saturday: Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Walk in faith and prepare like it’s done!! 

Sunday: Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” Believe God for that tree of life and don’t give up hope!! I am believing with you and praying for you!!


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