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  • Writer's pictureJanene Brown

Updated: Love Doesn’t Just Happen

Love Doesn’t Just Happen

Love doesn’t just happen, it is intentional, it’s consistent, it is prayerful, it’s a choice. It is work. I’m so thankful for all we have learned over the years about working on, and growing our marriage! But we still can grow, learn, and work on it, as it is not just a feeling, but an action. I long to be with my husband when he is gone! I miss him, and he feels the same way! We both text each other sweet love notes, missing each other, can’t wait to see you, etc. We know we have to, and want, to be one in our marriage!

Words Matter

Words matter… in our marriage, in our life, in our relationships. Sometimes we are tired, worn out, overwhelmed, and over loaded. That is when we need to reset, look at our schedules, our days, how we prioritize what we do. If we have gotten away from prayer, devotionals, reading the word together, or any thing that takes the place of God first. Yes, God first because we can’t love, without a relationship with Jesus. Love comes from Him, and we can’t love others if we haven’t spent time with Jesus. Our words become His words when we spend time killing our flesh, exalting the Savior of our lives, and getting balanced and intentional again. Words matter, and the word of God should be our daily guide.

Becoming Lazy

Sometimes we can become lazy in our words, actions, and our relationships with others. Our marriage should take priority above everything else, only after our relationship with the Lord. We can get busy, put others first, even the kiddos, and then become lazy in our relationship with our husbands. When the children are little it may be easy and needful to put their needs first, but we still need to work on building our relationship with our husbands daily. If we don’t, years may pass and you find you have nothing in common.

Love Takes Time

Love takes time to build, recreate, add to, rekindle, examine, study, and create. Whether you are in a great place in your marriage, you are newly married, you have been married for 50 years, or things aren’t going very well, love takes times! We should always be working toward a greater love in our marriage, although it will have it’s peaks and valleys. Steadily, pushing toward a greater love, praying, and surrendering to God!


Reconnecting in your marriage is a valuable exercise to pursue, it a purposeful way of engaging your husband to keep the love alive. We reconnect by addressing the issues we have in our marriage that have caused us to be disengaged. Then, we focus on how we can reconnect and love one another through times of distance.

How Can We Do This

We can create a new norm by forming new habits, or reinstating the old ones, that are an asset to your marriage. A new normal of keeping the sparkle in your eye, getting yourself ready before he comes home, cleaning up the house, be ready to meet him at the door with a big kiss and an, “I love you” or “I missed you!” Or maybe just doing some things you used to do when you first met. Look at this daily, monthly, and yearly!! We always need to reassess where we are and move toward becoming one!!

Are You Dating Your Husband

Spring is coming!! Maybe try to plan a day get away! Take a drive, look at the leaves changing, stop at a little restaurant you’ve never been to, or just get a coffee and reminisce about when you met! Plan a vacation!! Don’t talk about bills, children, work, or the house. Or maybe have a dream date!! Dream together about what you want to do this year, or for the holidays, or for when you retire. Plan and execute your plan!! But just don’t forget to date!!

Gods Word

These are just a few ideas for some fun things to do, but God’s word is the final authority on how to have a blessed marriage, to reconnect, to build your life together, or to create the kind of marriage you have always wanted. IF you want a wonderful, love filled marriage, you will need to read the word to see what God asks of you both, and then obey it. It truly works if you take little steps towards the goal! To have a happily ever married marriage!!


Tuesday:1 Corinthians 4:1 says, “Love is Patient.” Pray for patience as your love is flexible in all that changes in your schedules.

Wednesday: Psalm 143:8 says, “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.” Pray today for your words to be seasoned with salt as you spend time with the Master this morning.

Thursday: Ephesians 4:2 says, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.” Love takes time, so learn this scripture as you work on your marriage.

Friday: 1 Corinthians 16:14 says, “Let all your things be done with charity.” As you try something new in your marriage or get back to what you’ve lost do it all with love! Pray over this scripture and ask the Lord to help you.

Saturday: Jude 1:2 says, “Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.” Have fun! Laugh, make memories that include only you two! Pray God help you to see peace and love multiplied!

Sunday: 1 John 4:8 says, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” God’s word is powerful!! Read, pray over it, learn it, memorize it, and speak it!! God is love!


Our prayer for you today is to not get overwhelmed in trying to build a life together, but instead, to realize love takes time, one day at a time, maybe even one hour at a time. Take a step back, pray, read, and try something new to make a special effort to have a love that lasts! Trust the Lord, remember why you married them, and refocus on giving your best.


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Thank you for investing in your marriage and you can have a happily ever married marriage too!!

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