Love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I forgive them, but… they better not do it again or I will really tell them!” This is called holding a grudge, being vindictive, manipulative at best. Most of us in a marriage don’t think this way. The world, shows, media, movies, they all do this. But we who are in a marriage, and love our spouse, we don’t think this way. But do we still keep score, or a record?
Keeping Score
I think most of us want to forgive, move on, and forget when we are hurt. But if we allow any bitterness from this marriage, or past relationships, to creep in, we can keep score. When we are hurt, it’s easy to put up walls, use our defense mechanisms, and hold a grudge. Most of us got married thinking and believing we would be different, not like our parents, or others we know. But if you are married, you will have conflict, say things you don’t mean, and hurt one another. It is part of the fall of man. We sin. Period. Keeping score is not the way to deal with these hurts.
How Do We Truly Forgive
Forgiveness is the act of wiping clean the mistake, words, hurt, betrayal of someone else. In the greek means “to let go.” It means to cancel a debt owed, to pardon. This can be easier said than done. We can get in cycles of hurting each other. When there is high stress, lack of sleep, sickness, or all of the above, it is very easy to hurt the one you love the most. How do we truly forgive? We just decide, then we do it. It is an action just like love. But I also know that God, when we allow Him, will help us supernaturally forgive.
Supernatural Forgiveness
When God moves into any situation we have, logic, ideas, and the natural, are all thrown out. Jesus is a supernatural God, and if we believe He made the world, the stars, us, we can know that He can move in the most hurtful situations.. if we let Him. We can choose to hang on to hurts, to swallow the bitter pill, or we can release it to a Victorious God who can turn all that hurt into a love you could never know on your own.
Love
Love is an action, but it is also so much more than that! God is love! If God can forgive us, who are we to hold onto unforgiveness of another, especially our spouse. When you allow the God of the universe to intervene, let go of being right, and surrender, He can bring about a love and forgiveness that is out of this world. Love holds no record of wrongs. It lets go of the offense, and gives grace. Love extends mercy, and when we let go of that hurt, all those bitter feelings just melt away and are replaced with God’s love, which is a blessing in it’s self. I know I am thankful for God’s forgiveness in my life.
God Forgave You
God forgave you, and me, and our spouse. We didn’t and don’t deserve it, but He made it accessible to you and me for the asking. He shed His precious blood for it. He died for it, for us, for you. I know God has shown me, when I want to hold onto something, because I think I have a right to be mad, gently, ever so gently, He says, “I forgave you.” At that moment all of those sins of my past life, even the attitudes, thoughts, and sin He forgives me of today, come rushing back. Not to condemn me, but to remind me, of His everlasting love, mercy and grace He so willingly bestowed upon a wretch like me. I in my anger, become broken… and become tender to His tugging of my heart. I say I’m sorry to the Lord, then I have a decision to make.
My Decision
Do I let it go and forgive, or do I keep it, this offense, and let it eat me up inside. I’ve seen too many people in my life ruined by bitterness. They are hurt like a little child, they don’t even realize it, but they are still licking their wounds from a year and sometimes 50 years ago. They can’t enjoy life, because they have closed themselves off to love by not forgiving. It’s my decision to give it to God and move on, or hold on and be right, loosing possibly everything dear to me. You don’t know what that one decision will cost you, and it will cost you something. How do I forgive?
My Words
My words followed by my actions is this, “God I give this offense to you, I forgive them,(this could be your spouse, or anyone), and I ask you to forgive them Lord and I ask You not to hold it to their charge.” This isn’t always easy, but it gets easier with time, because you see God is so merciful to you. Then you have to purpose it in your heart not to bring it up again. This may have to be done over and over again. Jesus talks about this in the gospels.
Scriptures
Monday: Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Don’t think and act like those in this world, pray today for God, who is a righteous judge to decide.
Tuesday: 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Charity sufferers long and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.” in the NLT it says, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” This is a scripture we all should read and meditate on daily. We can all look at the other and say well if they would only read this.. until the last line. Praying for a forgiving heart today.
Wednesday: 1 Peter 4:8 says “And above all things have fervent charity(love) among yourselves: for charity(love) shall cover the multitude of sins.” Pray for a renewing of a fervent love for your spouse today, it will cover the multitude of sins that is between you.
Thursday: 1 John 4:8 says, He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. So to know God, we must love, for God is love! A few verses down it says, in verse 11, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” We can look past things, and eventually forget, because we make a choice to love.
Friday: Matthew 6:15 says, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Pray over and meditate on this scripture. We have to forgive, the bible is clear, but know if you are struggling God will help you.
Saturday: Job 21:25 says, “And another dieth in the bitterness of his soul, and never eateth with pleasure.” Pray God take away any root of bitterness in your heart, and forgive quickly.
Sunday: Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.” Basically, over and over you need to forgive. So pray the Lord helps you today to forgive, and ask He not hold it against them either.
Prayer
Our prayer for you is that you don’t look to deeply at the offense, but instead look at the One who can heal it, and look at your spouse for who you know they really are, not the moment you hurt one another. You can have peace, joy, and forgiveness that overflows in your home, if you choose to. Praying you remember how much God forgave you of and extend it to the one you made life long vows with. God can do the miraculous in your life, just trust Him to do it, and don’t try to figure it all out yourself. Praying you feel the peace and love of God pour over you and you surrender to letting go and not keeping record of the wrongs done to you. In Jesus name!!
Contact
Please feel free to contact us at janene@happilyevermarried.org and check out and share other blog posts at http://happilyevermarried.org Thank you for investing in your marriage!!