It All Comes Down To This
When we look back over the last three weeks of this series, we see it all comes down to the fourth topic. Personal Responsibility. We all need to take personal responsibility for our actions. Needing to be right, blaming, and quarreling comes down to the need to learn to take personal responsibility in your marriage. What does this look like? It starts with knowing you are and can only be responsible for you.
You are a person with your own ideas, thoughts, and actions. In a world where people are quick to argue, blame, sue someone, fight, and many other ways to point the finger at someone else, we thrive on taking all of the emphasis off of us and placing on everyone else. The problem is the only one you can ever change is you, and when you do realize this things begin to change.
Change comes in our lives when we grow, mature, and become responsible for our own actions. When we learn to stop, think through what was said or done, and look at what we did or said, instead of focusing on what your spouse said or did, you start to see change. This is true in any area of life, any relationship, whether work, or family. Change is most evident when we become aware of ourselves and our own flaws. Where does this start?
In The Home
When we are children we learn from our parents, our siblings and family, and surroundings of places we frequent. Mostly, we learn at home. We learn to either take responsibility for our actions or we don’t. If your parents never had consequences for you, then you probably don’t feel you need to look at yourself. Some parents shelter their children from other authority, they shield them from anyone telling them no, they are wrong, or that they are responsible. Other parents see authority as a good thing, a safety net, and will allow their children to be corrected by others and themselves.
Correction is not an easy thing for any of us, as we all have flesh and don’t like to be told we may be doing something wrong. Learning correction is a good thing! It lets us know the world doesn’t revolve around us, and also teaches us that their are boundaries and parameters that we need to stay safe. When we correct our children it means we love them. It is a sad state when generation after generation have not been corrected and you hear in our society, “No one is going to tell me, or my children.”
How does this affect my marriage? When two people come together and are working on becoming one, we have a hard time if we don’t take personal responsibility. This means looking inward and seeing what you can change, correct, and be willing to apply it. We need to say, “I’m sorry.” I need to figure out why this bothers me so much, and how can I change my attitude and actions.
The Lord shows us all throughout the word that we need to take personal responsibility. His view is for us to look at our own actions and change. He says in Philippians 2:12, “to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.” We cannot change anyone else but ourselves. So as we read the word daily, pray daily, and start or continue to look at ourselves and apply God’s word in every area we will become great at taking personal responsibly.
Our prayer for your marriage today is that you would learn to love each other with mercy and grace. To see each other through the eyes of God and treat each other as though God is right there, because He is. To be kind, and work on looking at yourselves and not constantly criticizing or critiquing your spouse. Give them the same mercy and grace God has given you.
Monday: 2 Corinthians 5:10 says, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.” Praying we see we can only change our actions and are responsible for them.
Tuesday: Job 19:4 says, “And be it indeed that I have erred, mine error remaineth with myself.” We are responsible for the things we do. Praying today over this scripture.
Wednesday: Proverbs 4:23 says, ““Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Change begins with the heart, we do this with prayer and the word.
Thursday: Hebrews 12:11 says, “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Home is where we learn to be responsible.
Friday: Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Scripture speaks of love connected with correction.
Saturday: Proverbs 15:32 says, “He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.” Pray that you can receive instruction in your marriage so you can get understanding and better communicate.
Sunday: Proverbs 6:23 says, “For the commandment [is] a lamp; and the law [is] light; and reproofs of instruction [are] the way of life:” Learning the word of the Lord helps us to grow in life and in our marriages!
Thank you for investing in your marriage and you too can have a happily ever married marriage!