The Power Of A "Thank You"
As a young child we are taught to say, "thank you!" It's part of learning gratitude, to be thankful for what you receive, and to show respect. It doesn't come natural for sure, but it's a part of our upbringing that trains us for the real world. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be taught as much as it was when I was a child. If you live in the south, I've heard its like the air you breathe, but as we stray from christian teaching in the 21st century you hear it less and less. This affects marriages around the world.
Gratitude is appreciating what was done for, or given to you. The opposite of that is really selfishness. I tried to find the opposite of it in my search but it really just added "un" to all of the positive words. Ungrateful, unthankful, and so on. If you aren't grateful, you really just expected it, felt it was owed to you, or felt it was your right to have. A child feels this way, as a toddler, they expect you to do things for them and never even think of the cost. This is where maturity comes in. There are many grown adults today who think the world is owed to them and it all stems from selfishness. Marriages break up daily because of this attitude.
Learning to be thankful takes time, it's not in our nature to do so. So, we must be taught to see the world as bigger than our little life. Exposure brings burden! I have heard this saying for years and I completely believe it. As a young child we had some friends who had moved to our town and didn't have very much at all. At Christmas, even though we didn't have a ton, we had more than they did, and we gave to this sweet family. We would leave it on there door at all hours of the night for 12 days of Christmas. This deeply affected me, I saw the power of giving, expecting nothing in return. They were thankful! They truly were excited and it changed my idea of what being thankful was. I also became aware of how thankful I was for what we had. Learning this has been a huge blessing in life and in my marriage.
Respect is what you give to someone who you love, care about, and treasure. When I think about saying, "thank you," it's not an automatic response, although it was when I was a child because I was told to say it. I was taught that they took time to think about what they were giving me, spent their money, and if I didn't like it I was not to disrespect them by acting like I didn't. I may not have understood all of that at a young age, but I realized that if I didn't show respect I would be in trouble. Eventually, I saw it modeled, I matured, and had respect for the people who blessed me. I am so thankful for my husband and all he has done for me!
Marriage is a lot of give and take. It's so important to make sure that you tell your spouse, "thank you." They need to know their effort is appreciated, respected, and that they are loved. I know it goes a long way when I am thoughtful, (thinking ahead), about what my husband has done that I appreciate, and tell him kindly, "thank you!" It changes the atmosphere of our home and relationship. He feels loved, respected, and he also learns that's what he can do to please me. I do the same for him! When he tells me, "thank you" and I know it was really appreciated, I want to do more of it for him, because that's what he likes.
You have heard the saying, "happy wife, happy life." I don't agree that is a good way to live, I really like, "happy spouse, happy house!" We are told in the word that once you marry you want to please your spouse. It's true!! You want to do things that please them. Time goes by and we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to pursue them by finding what makes them happy. This is when we let selfishness creep back in to our lives and marriages. So we must be intentional about preferring the other.
Your marriage, next to your relationship with God, is the number one priority! It's all about order! God, your spouse, your kiddos, work, family, ministry, recreation. The first three are in order, the rest comes after. If any of these come before the first three in their order, you will have a world of hurt. The atmosphere of your home will be chaos. Paul says to die daily. This means in your time with Jesus you must repent, pray, let the word wash you, and die to your flesh,(carnal nature). You will be amazed at how God blesses your marriage when you start with this!
Monday: Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.' You can always learn this even if you weren't taught as a child and you can teach it to your children.
Tuesday: 2 Timothy 3:2 says, "For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy," The last days are filled with lovers of themselves, in marriage lets be lovers of our spouse!
Wednesday: Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. " Thankfulness is part of having peace. Our homes have an atmosphere of peace when we are thankful. We see each other differently, we treat each other differently when "thank you" is apart of our lives!
Thursday: 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." This means how and what you say to your husband coupled with respect may win them.
Friday: Ephesians 5:33 says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Love and Respect go a long way in marriage and the Lord says this is what we should do!
Saturday: 1 Corinthians 7:33 says, "But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." Also, 7:34 says, " But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.…" We are concerned and should continue to be concerned about pleasing our spouse.
Sunday: 1 Corinthians 15:31 says, “I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.” In our marriages we must die daily, and sometimes that is over and over in a day!
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